TLDR: Island hopping in the Philippines is fun.
The Tao Philippines expedition was a birthday present from Emma. Many of our friends insisted we must do it, claiming 'it's the best thing they ever did'. We were super excited. Tao had a few options and in the end we opted for the 5 night, 6 day experience which included 2 nights on a wooden paraw sailing boat around El Nido bay.
Our pre journey briefing introduced us to our captain, crew and fellow 'explorers' for the week which Emma has already mentioned in a previous post. Naturally, Emma and I tried to suss everyone out and some characters had already began to emerge. Some didn't make it that evening and we met them a bit later. Either the following day on the paraw or half way through upon changing boats. The wooden paraw crew included:
French gay couple residing in Marrakech, artist/sculptor Jean Francois and dancer/singer Pascal along with their 2 adventurous, trilingual boys Pablo (5) and Diego (7). For sure the coolest group on the boat. They were family that looked like Jean Francois had sculpted them himself. They were only doing the first leg.
Energy bringing German couple Dieter & Morgana friends of Matthias and Doro. Morgana (originally Italian) had already got the party started and was busy chatting away to all.
Our unbelievably cute canine companions; Jack Russel puppies Buddy (4 months old), who loved air humping things and Solo (8 months old), who was a thing.
Those that joined us after a couple of days aka the new islanders:
Initially reserved, intelligent and classically handsome Italian Martino (is the man crush obvious?), an EU official living in Tanzania & his tanned beach babe wife Silvia, a yoga instructor.
Young German quartet of ladies including a couple of 'Mellies' in their 20s / early 30s, which perhaps excited us more than the young German guys from the potential gossip they could bring to 'Love Islands'.
Fun, bubbly Dutch couple Manon & Cas. Manon who was already in travel mode having been backpacking for a few months with Cas playing catch up.
A younger adventurous German couple Jordan, who looked as much like a policeman as he was, which was a lot, because he was a policeman & his sweet girlfriend Christine.
Claudia, a reserved, smiley and super friendly solo traveller from Italy.
The trip was unreal. It was honestly the experience of a lifetime starting from the moment we stepped aboard the paraw in El Nido, to the moment we stepped off the larger motorised boat in Coron.
Side note: At this point you're probably thinking what the f**k is a paraw and stop saying it. Well it's a specific type of sailboat native to the Philippines. This one was wooden and adorned with beautiful tribal carvings, designed on the boats that navigated the islands over 1000 years ago. It is also the largest remaining paraw in the Philippines and by far it was our favourite boat of the 2.
The Paraw boat at sunset
Once aboard we quickly got comfortable with each other as well as our canine companions as we set out in the open sea. Immediately Buddy and Solo were huge hits. Everyone was vying for their attention. Emma, who emanates heat like a walking radiator, was lucky enough to get first dibs on a shivering Buddy curled up in her lap, in front of many jealous eyes.
As we sailed through the picturesque el Nido bay and onto Coron our days were filled with regular pit stops to explore desert islands, snorkel the colourful seas or eat amazing food whilst looking out at paradise. The waters had fish boasting the colours of the rainbow and the coral reefs looked otherworldly. It was like watching stranger things on acid.
The food prepared by head chef Toto was made with such love. He would make an announcement each time before we ate, describing all the various dishes with such pride . He made separate dishes for the vegans and while the meals generally consisted of some form of rice (colloquially referred to as Filippino power), a vegetable curry like dish and a salad, the variety in produce and flavour was amazing and the quantities massive. This allowed the greedier of us to not just get 2nds but 3rds (you shy, you die.. a popular lost boy phrase). Some highlights were the mango papaya salad, the battered sweet potato and the freshly made banana blossom spring rolls. The non vegans were given freshly caught fish daily and I could tell it was good from that move people do when they like food; slow head nod, eyes shut and a positive grunts of 'mmm' whilst chewing.
Every evening the boat would park up around 100m from shore given the water depth. We would jump (occasionally backflip) off the boat and like a school of fish, we swam through the warm water to our island camp for the evening. The lost boys kindly kayaked all the supplies for the night and our canine companions across. The novelty of this island entrance only wore off at the final camp when there was a pier to walk on to.. immediately everyone rushed to the bathrooms which made me realise why the water on the swim in had been so warm and I regretted being one of the furthest back in the pack.
Backflips with the boys
Ms. Backflip
Each island camp was built, run and owned by Tao meaning we were the only ones there. They had comfortable bamboo huts, volleyball/basketball courts, dining areas and impressive shower and toilet facilities. Such consideration was taken to ensure the architecture matched the surrounding environment, drawing inspiration from local fisherman techniques. It all really did fit so well. The beaches were pristine and the views from the islands sensational. The level of thought was so impressive that even the direction in which the huts had been built was planned so they could leverage wind channels in a way to provide some natural form of A/C to help with the temperate nights.
Upon arrival to a camp we would have a couple of hours downtime before the daily sunset and jungle juice combo. During the downtime people would chill, swim or play volleyball/basketball. Finally we would all sit down for the amazing dinner, have some drinks and chat the night away. This was basically every day for almost a week, completely disconnected from the outside world. Free from stress, no internet connectivity and genuine in the moment living with others, which is so hard to achieve these days. Honestly life doesn't really get much better and I found myself feeling a sense of well-being and peace (and amazing sleeps) I don't think I have experienced in over a decade. As much as I go on about the experience it was our fellow explorers which really made the trip and formed our treasured memories..
Emma had started to adopt the role of games master and introduced Human Cluedo to the group. It was a massive hit. The kids seemed to love their new roles of assassins and were perhaps a little too obvious about trying to make a kill. The Germans on the other hand were constantly approaching Emma to confirm all the of rules of the game, ensuring they had all the information required to ensure the win. It turned out to be a great way to break the ice and even got some of the shyer members of the group some airtime as everyone bonded through Death in Paradise. It was an instant hit with the Lost Boys and I have a strong feeling they'll will adopt it for future trips.. now you know the origins.
The kids were comfortable with both of us and Diego had become increasing fond of Emma (competition perhaps?) so we accidentally fell into a providing a bit of free childcare on the boat. We were so impressed at their linguistic skills, sense of adventure and how confident they both were. They loved animals and Diego's sharp eye picked up a giant 4m Oceanic manta ray gliding through the water travelling faster than the boat. They both, after some encouragement, also jumped off the 5m dive board which some of the adults refused to do. Clearly it had given them an adrenaline rush as they were amped. It made Emma and I think about where they might be years down the line. We agreed either international explorers venturing into unchartered territories or heroin addicts still trying to achieve the same highs of their amazing childhood holidays.
The older German couples, some with corporate backgrounds but now working in hospitality in the Alps as retirement jobs. It was amazing to see their thirst for life stronger than ever as they snuck off for secret beach snogs, jumped off the boat, snorkelled through jellyfish waters and partied the night away. They were still full of awe and wonder despite all the amazing things they'd already done over the years and it was definitely something to aspire to as they continue to seize life and squeeze all out of it.
With little to no language barrier we naturally got on really well with both English couples, the solo Aussie and 2 nerdy Germans who were very good at English. They had become our closest group on the boat as we'd become the 'late' night crew. We also adopted Jonas, the drinker of the German trio into the crew and he brought a type of younger brother energy which was made it truly feel like a family. We enjoyed all of the DMCs including going deep into topics such motor accidents, ski seasons, the impact of diet on digestive systems (vegans & veggies predominately), naturism, meaningful relationships/attraction, grooming (the literal hairy kind) and of course not forgetting.. dystopian worlds where factory farmed animals can be plugged into a VR simulation to enhance their sensory experience (thank you Gabriel and Becks!)
We had a lot of fun in the days playing volleyball and basketball with the German trio who clearly loved sports. Emma also got involved and impressed us all with her free throwing skills. Her (newly discovered?) sporting ability, impressive backflip attempts and organised fun meant she was bound to win their German hearts and was thought of as the 'coolest chick ever'. More DMCs were had and the boys, seeing something special in our relationship, sought advice from me as they described the perils of navigating through a superficial dating landscape riddled with adverse effects of social media. After some regurgitated Diary of a CEO snippets passed off as proprietary wisdom, I had become their guru. Both Emma and my egos, like our stomachs, were well fed.
Our MVPs of the group had to be Stefan and Michael. The once thought of quiet, awkward German outsiders had taken centre stage in sailing social scene and the double act of 2 best friends since childhood won the hearts of everyone on board. Both were hyper intelligent interesting individuals and Michael's cool levelheaded commentary was the perfect complement to Stefans hilarious monologuing. Stefan, in his thick German accent would begin each performance with the customary "It's like this.." before saying something outrageous. Favourites included asking for 6 beers after counting 6 people on the table, when people politely declined, he ignored all and went back to the barman "I'll take 6 beers and maybe you should check what these guys want". Upon being asked whether his girlfriend gets jealous that he does all of the nice trips with Michael, Stefan responded "It's like this.. why would she get jealous, Michael was my girlfriend first". It was honestly the greatest bromance I've ever seen. Having discovered Stefan was the guy we tried to help on the moped at Duli Beach we felt sad that we had missed an opportunity to meet them both earlier.
The lost boys were great throughout the trip as well as the background crew, who were on rotation. Jep-jep has continued just as he started, very cool and all under control, impressing us with the backflips, fire puoy demos and occasional bursts into song (In your head by Zombie, which is unfortunately still in my head). He did take more of a backseat role as the other leaders in training were given their shots. Shy Sunny had grown in confidence over the course of the week and shown us how to make jewellery and hats fitting with his sensitive demeanour. James was the louder more laddy of the two and seemed like a Jep Jep wannabe with some work to do. You could tell he always had a slight inclination towards the females on board so initially it was harder for me to get airtime with him. Over the course of the week I was able use my brown privilege to spend more time with the Lost Boys as we sat in areas inaccessible to the melanin-lacking folk. It took a while for me to break into the crew but after criticising James' unsuccessful attempt to 'catch a fish' using a hammock one evening, I was in. Finally I was one of the Lost Boys (sort of).
The change in boats also brought a bit of a vibe shift as we went from comfortable happy family to feeling like contestants on of those reality TV shows where everyones in swimwear. Who was gonna join the boat and what chaos was about to ensue? The new crew brought in some youth and immediately we saw some dormant characters spring into action. In the end after a few hours on the boat with the newbies we were a happy family again albeit, some 'incest' afoot.
The last night was when it all kicked off as the drinks were flowing and the Karaoke machine had been set up. The lost boys had started to let their hair down and you could see some potential matches forming between them and the German girls. Everyone got super into Karaoke and we saw a whole new side to some of the people. Martino surprised us by having the voice of an angel and really got into the party mood. Greg and Lauren were our vocal partners in performances of 'English' classics Lose Yourself and Mr Brightside. Stefan and Michael did a duet that brought tears to your eyes. The biggest shock however was Leo. Leo had been having early nights, diligently exercising every morning and was quite pensive on the boat so when he was knocking back the drinks and took on the role as MC for the evening, also performing the most number of karaoke songs, it was a shock. One we all loved. That night he also disclosed he was actually an Instagram influencer (300k followers!), so the contrast in behaviour made a little more sense.
Leo playing the crowd
As the night progressed everyone had got more sloppy. "I'll be sleeping on the boat if anyone wants to join me" said a nameless individual angling for you know what. Sadly further attempts to use inadequate fishing equipment meant no angling could be done. Non-drinking Eric however was sharp on his game as he took one of the Mellis for some star gazing. They were both still in line of sight, and I watched on frustratedly (yes it's weird I know) as the body language suggested both looked too shy to make a move. On our way to bed I embarrassed Emma by intervening with a drunken morale boosting speech of encouragement to them both. Emma was rightfully cross with me but the next morning I felt vindicated when Eric told me I'm the best wingman ever and they both looked happy as they said they had a good night.
After the experience finished we all met at a bar on land in the evening to say our final goodbyes. It was a fun evening but just us and the older German and Italian couples on the dance floor, playing music we were all to old for. We wondered if dance floors haven't made it to the next generation as will soon die out. Either way the Germans and Italians showing how to rock it and signs of a party lifestyle past, once again providing us with #couplegoals.
The trip was so good no words can do it justice, let alone 2800 badly written ones. In the end, this was a reminder that this paradise wasn't just all of the ridiculous islands we stayed on. It was also the delicious variety of food we ate, the magical underwater kingdoms we explored but most importantly the wonderful people that we shared it with. For that Emma and I are so thankful to all the people that made the Tao experience 'the best thing we ever did'.
After the tough week island hopping we made sure to get some down time by treating ourselves to the Grand Hyatt in Manilla for some R&R. To Emma's annoyance, I clarified to the check in lady that we were not celebrating anything special. Somehow we were upgraded to a junior suite anyway and enjoyed our last day in the Philippines in one of the nicest hotels either of us have ever stayed in. Next stop.. Taiwan.
Hope nobody cheated in human cleudo like previous versions... (emmayay ithway ampooshay inyay ethay arcay)